My scheduled blog post for this week was supposed to be about Handfastings. I’ve already put it off twice. It is supposed to be coinciding with me introducing my new line of handfasting jewelry to you. The problem with that is I haven’t made it…
Instead of swapping it out (again) for something that I’ve scheduled for another week, I have decided just to delete it, and to move the Handfasting line to next year’s to-do list. The simple fact of the matter is I haven’t got time at the moment, and once I get through my current super-stressful, super-busy period I will need to start thinking about Halloween and Yule. So it’s clearly not going to happen this year.
So instead I have decided to write to you about what has become a related topic. I am going to write to you about the importance of having realistic expectations. Of friends, relations, your children, your pets, your partner, and most importantly of yourself. I read a lot of blogs about people who are trying so hard to be everything for everyone. People who are pulling all-nighters trying to do all the things they think they should be doing. People who are burning themselves out, to depression and anxiety, to destructive tendencies in relationships, to unfair tiredness. These are unrealistic expectations.
But here’s the thing. You are in charge of your to-do list. You are the person who sets the goals, and plans out how to reach them. And while there is a lot of advice out there about how to do that (3 things a day, bullet journals, 5 year plans, life coaches), there is much less advice about taking things out of the equation. So I’m here to tell you, in case nobody else has, that you are allowed to take things off your to-do list. You have permission. It is ok to say, for any reason at all, that actually something you thought you needed or even wanted to do is not actually something that fits right now. You don’t even need a reason. It is NOT giving up. It is just saying that actually you don’t want to do that as much as you thought, or you have realised that the world will not stop turning if you don’t do it. Part of being an independent adult and in particular running your own business, is that you call the shots. And sometimes that means not doing the thing.
This is what I mean about realistic expectations. Things change. Unforeseen circumstances arise, and we cannot necessarily predict how even the smallest thing like unexpected changes in the weather can affect our mood, our ability to get enough sleep, our productivity. And so part of having realistic expectations means reassessing them when circumstances change, to check that they still make sense and to ensure that we are still able to meet them. What may have seemed perfectly achieveable back in January in a haze of leftover port and chocolates from Christmas and good intentions from New Years might not actually turn out to be realistic in June. So do yourself a favour and check in with your plans. You deserve to have realistic expectations of yourself.